All worth while

I recently wrote to a friend saying that Amber and I are learning just how exhausting babies are...especially when they come in twos. Laughter like this makes it all worth while though. Thought you would enjoy.

This is a pretty good snap shot of our paranoia and our friends support. Trick or Treat was really just an excuse to get a peek at the girls. I don't think the girls knew exactly what to think, but Sophie finally started talking to everybody...apparently she enjoys the lime light. Mattie on the other hand just stared at everyone as they barked, panted, mooed, danced, and whatever else I told them to do to get the girls to laugh. The girls didn't laugh, but Amber and I had a good time. :) Speaking of Sophie talking and Mattie not- we had no idea that twins periodically switch personalities. Everyone always asks if they have distinct personalities, and they do. The problem is that they pass the distinct personalities back and forth. I'm convinced that since they came from the same embryo, they had to split the same personality in half as well. Right now they are simply "trying on" the different halves before they settle into who they want to be for the rest of their lives. I ran this theory past Jolie who has 6th grade twin boys and she confirmed my theory. Her boys switched personalities back and forth as well. (Of course, they aren't identical, but that's just a technicality)

Here's what they're up to now:

• sharing- A.K.A.- Stealing each other's toys and crying when the other one does it
• oh so close to rolling onto their stomachs
• sucking on their toes
• oh so close to crawling
• oh so close to saying "daddy" (may be wishful thinking, but I'm sticking to it)
• sitting up almost completely by themselves
• spitting up almost completely all day

And they can't wait to meet you.

Officially graduated from preemie status!

Happy October!

Mattie and Sophie at the wedding...sort of.

Madelyn the Ladybug

Sophia the Watermelon

I think it's been about 2 months since I updated the blog...a fact which has earned me a couple threats lately. So...I guess I should fill you in on the progress made over those two months. Both girls are now speaking in complete sentences. They are quickly gaining their balance and starting to wobble less when they jog and are finally figuring out how to balance their check books.

I'll let you know what's going on next month if I get a chance. Thanks for reading!

Ok. So maybe I exagerate a little. I think that's part of my job, right? :) Truthfully, they got off of O2 last month on a trial run and today were officially graduated from the BPD clinic. That means we can finally send back all 20 O2 canisters that are all over our house! Sophie gets to get off of her blood pressure med. on a trial run (we're about 98% sure that will go without a hitch) and doesn't have to go back to Vandy to check that for 3 months. All that means...we can finally take a break for a while from Vandy visits to monitor preemie complications.

Now for the fun stuff. They talk like crazy now (not complete sentences...or even intelligible words, but you would sure think so by the expressions, change of tones, and laughter), are experimenting with rolling over both directions, and want oh so badly to crawl. That may take a little longer, but you can see them both working hard to figure it out. As far as size goes, unless I misunderstood today, they have caught up to term babies. Mattie clocks in around 15lbs and Sophie almost 14.

Their first outing was my baby sister's wedding at my parents' house last weekend. The wedding was beautiful (as were my sisters) but I was still kind of partial to the beauty of my wife and girls watching from the upstairs window. The girls handled the crowd of my family all together surprisingly well and contrary to all of our paranoia and fears, they came away healthy. That's not to say we weren't exhausted by the end of the weekend from trying to make sure we didn't expose them to unnecessary germs.

Lest we offend anyone, let me explain why we seem paranoid and somewhat rude. Right or wrong, Vandy docs and our pediatrician warn constantly about RSV. Even though they are off O2 now and doing great, their lungs are still fragile since they were so underdeveloped early on. Add to that the fact that the third trimester (which they saw about a week of actually in the womb) is when babies get all of the stuff they need to develop their own immune system. To top it all off, we were also told that the mother's milk quits providing immunity benifits at 6 months...just in time for cold and flu season to get going. Needless to say, we are probably going to seem a little rude trying to ward people off. I even got called out by a nurse today for an attempted body block (shifting the baby from one arm to the other to put my body between Mattie's and the nurses....awkward that she noticed. Need to work on my subtelty apparently) Trust me, it kills us, but we're not backing down. I don't plan on going back to Vandy until scheduled appointments if I can help it at all. So, we're hunkering down till spring time and the end of RSV season. Sophie and Mattie can't wait to meet you. Please pray for them not to get sick this season. We start RSV shots this week and will get them once a month throughout the season. (You may want to pray for our sanity too:) Our friends from the NICU will be going through the same thing so keep them in mind too. Crimson, Brayden, Isaac, and Eli.

Smiles

It's almost ridiculous how hard adults will work to get smiles out of babies. If someone hasn't recorded you trying to make a baby smile at some point, then you may think you look cool, but let me assure you...you don't. Maybe you're the exception to the rule, but I doubt it. I've wondered several times who was actually being entertained- the baby or the full-grown mature adult that is making a fool of themselves and not even realizing it. I have a theory that if we could read babies' minds we would hear something like this: "I can't believe how long this guy has been making that face. He looks ridiculous. I'm gonna see how long he'll act like that....Wow this guy really is pathetic. Now he's getting on my nerves so I think I'll cry. Wow he really doesn't get it. Now he's making even dumber faces. I'm gonna have to scream."

One of my favorite things to do now is wake the girls up in the morning. They are usually stirring a little sooner than us but still dozing when we come in. A few tickles on the feet and high-pitched, very un-manly "good mornings" and they are all smiles and ready to play...at least until they get hungry.

We started therapy this week finally with Tennessee Early Intervention. It's a state program that is a pre-cursor to the CDC but is intended to work with babies to prevent some developmental delays and give them a head start if they are going to have any. We are really excited to say that the therapist said today (unofficially) she doesn't see any signs of CP or anything else for that matter. That's not a guarantee. Nobody is even allowed to diagnose stuff until 18 months because apparently that is the magic age where you can really tell what's going on developmentally. However, we were told yesterday that she can usually see some signs of the babies that are going to have issues and our girls don't seem to have any so far. Praise God.

Here's what they are doing these days:
Rolling over, scooting (barely), smiling a lot, mimicking the raspberry sound a little (trying hard to get video but no luck so far), sleeping more at night, staying awake more during the day, crying when they're hungry, crying when they're tired, crying when their tummies hurt, and crying when I make to many faces or to few. Mattie is a girl of extremes. She's really quick to smile and play but pretty quick to erupt as well. Sophie is the contemplative one. She likes to smile and scream too but will think about it a little longer before deciding it's worth doing.

Isn't it incredible to think that as foolish as we allow ourselves to look just to make a baby smile, God does it infinitely more to give us reason to smile. He humiliated Himself in front of everyone while his children were thinking, "what in the world is this guy thinking" just to give us everlasting joy. I thank God for my babies and I thank God that I am His.

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

- Jesus

John 15:11

Good reports, automatic doors, and awkward reunions

Friday was a looooong day with great results. We had VBS all week last week so Amber had the girls to herself every night which is chore enough in itself. Friday we had to leave the house at 5 am (we wound up leaving by 5:30) in order to get to Vandy in time for all of their checkups. That means that we were up at 3:45 to change them, feed them, get them ready to go, and get ourselves ready to go. That wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't been up till 2:30 the night before trying to get everything ready to go. (I'm still not entirely sure how time seems to move infinitely faster now...especially after 9pm!)

Our first appointment was the eye doctor. Both girls checked out with flying colors. No more ROP! which means they won't have to go back for an eye exam until April to watch for crossed eyes, lazy eyes, etc. The eye people called the BPD clinic (lungs) for us to let them know that we were gonna be late in order to finish the eye exams. At the BPD clinic we learned that both girls are doing very well. (We already knew that...they fight us tooth and nail to keep their tubes out already!) The girls only have to wear their apnea monitors and O2 tubes at night now which is huge. That means we can actually carry them out of the nursery without prior planning. I know...pretty exciting, right! (you might have had to have a kid on O2 to really understand the joy that brings). We will go back in a month to make sure they are still growing well and breathing easily without O2 during the day and if that all checks out, they'll be free at last.

Finally we made it to the Nephrology clinic to check Sophie's blood pressure, which is drastically improved. The doctor lowered her medication pretty significantly and will check it again in a month before pulling her off. Apparently, the extra O2 sometimes triggers higher blood pressures so as the O2 comes off it should continue to improve.

We figured 3 for 3 checkups was pretty good and headed to Amber's parents' mini-van for Amber to nurse the girls. I'm pretty sure if someone had a camera on us tripping over ourselves folded up in the van trying to change diapers and get situated, we could win some money on AFV. The Bowman's are letting us borrow their Nissan Quest. It's one of the nice ones. Power everything. TV. Dual sliding doors. And the back door and passenger sliding door both open by remote.

Keep in mind that this is in the Vandy parking garage where people are coming and going constantly. Needless to say, Amber is a little paranoid. Therefore, my job was to hold a blanket up over the window until we figured out a way to hang it. The girl parked beside us had to think I was pretty weird sitting in the back seat holding a blanket since she couldn't see Amber or the girls. Once we got the blanket hung free of hands, I was given the duty of changing one of the girls in the front seat while Amber continued nursing in the back seat. I'm 6'1''. The van is not. As I was trying to get everything situated I accidentally headbutted the remote control...for the back door and the sliding door! Dingers started dinging, Amber started panicking, and I started bumbling over myself and whichever girl I was changing (my memory is already shrinking from lack of sleep!) to remember where the buttons were and how to close the doors. Thankfully, no one was walking by at that exact moment...or the second time I accidentally hit the buttons again and I have not been sent to sleep on the couch!

Somehow we managed to get both girls changed and fed and headed back inside to see if any of the girls' former nurses were there. We got to see a couple of them and a few of the receptionists that we had gotten close to and were ready to head to Spring Hill for the night. But we were starving. So...I'm off to the food court to find food. Amber kept the girls around the corner to keep them out of the crowd.

When I got in the checkout line, I noticed one of the girl's last doctors that we really liked standing one line over.

I said, "hi."

He said, "what are you doing here!?" which sounds like a strange greeting at first until you realize that he was worried there was something wrong with one of the girls again.

I let him know generally about the success of all three apointments and mentioned that Amber was around the corner with the girls. At this point I had gotten in line behind him in order to talk with him. He asked specifically about Mattie. I resonded, and was impressed that he remembered her name. After all, he is the head of the Neonatology department and has to see countless patients.

I said, "you have a good memory." Now that I think about it, that was probably a pretty big understatement considering his position. His reaction, naturally was to pay for his food and walk away without any response at all as I was left to pay for my sandwiches laugihng about the unended conversation.

The truth of the unanswered compliment on his memory, however, is that when I mentioned that Amber and the girl's were around the corner, he apparently tuned me out and was singly focused on going to see them because when I got back to Amber he was already there with her. Alas, I was reminded once again that from my parents, to Amber's parents, to the head of the neonatology department that when babies are present, I am invisible. Which I am perfectly happy about. :)

Routines and Heros

Sophie Mattie

Sophie

Mattie

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading. Amber has been on me for some time to update for fear that people would stop checking, but somehow, I've just not felt like posting when I had a few spare moments. I do know that Mrs. Countess is still checking once a week to see new pictures, so this is for her...and our moms. :)

Somehow, we have settled into somewhat of a routine. Both of our moms have gone home now unless I have to be somewhere over night, but other than that, we have found a way to take care of the girls in, what I think anyway, an acceptable fashion...the house is a wreck when our parents aren't here to clean it, we are still getting two meals a week from great women at Fairlane, and the neighbors have to be wondering what in the world is going to happen with my yard!, but the girls are doing well enough that our pediatrician said we were doing a good job. (By the way, can I just mention how incredibly relieving it is to hear someone with a white coat on say that after you are absolutely sure that you have no idea in the world what you are doing!)

I thought you might want to hear what our basic routine is to get a peak inside the incredibly cluttered for now Schwartz home.

Both girls are sleeping pretty well at night now. We give them their medicine and a bottle around 11 and then I hold them up for a half hour while Amber pumps. When she's done, she wakes me up around midnight and we do our best to get the girls in their beds without waking them up. Most night we're pretty successful and they sleep until around 4:30 or 5. It's unbelievable how good 4 straight hours of sleep feels! We do the same routine at 5 and get them back in bed around 6. We get another 1.5-2 hours of sleep and get up again a little before 8 to feed them again. Most mornings we go ahead and put them in their Nap Nannies (a special seat designed like a car seat to help them stay more upright...not quite as up as they need to be most of the time though) after they finish eating around 8:30. I get in the shower and Amber pumps again. I kiss everyone goodbye and head off to work.

From then until around 5 all I can tell you is that my wife is my hero. Somehow she manages to nurse both of them at the same time. That includes burping one while nursing the other which is very impressive. She somehow manages to keep both of them calm at the same time or manage the double screams when they just won't calm down. I have trouble managing both of them for an hour or two by myself so I have no idea how she can do it for all day! I had a nightmare while the girls were in the hospital that I wrote an article about to get it off my mind when I couldn't go back to sleep and finished it by saying that I'm not nearly man enough to do the work of a mom emotionaly or physically, and I'm more and more convinced of that every day when I watch Amber with the girls!

Amber changes diapers, nurses every 2-3 hours, holds them up for 30 minutes after each feeding and somehow manages to get at least one room straightened each day before I come home.

We try to do a few dishes and laundry at night, play with the girls for a while (they are smiling a lot more now and are oh so close to laughing out loud), give them a bath when we and they can handle the extra time before eating (last night Amber gave them baths alone...another reason she's my hero) and start the night shift over again.

That's pretty much our life right now. Our living room is stacked up with diapers and gifts from an unbelievable baby shower that Fairlane had for us on top of all the gifts people had already given us.

We take the girls back to Vandy to check their lungs, eyes, and Sophie's blood pressure on the 30th (next Friday), so please pray that we will be able to be done with at least one of those appointments. We are really hoping they will come off of their oxygen next week which would make a world of difference. When that happens, we'll be able to at least start thinking about when we can get them out a little in a very careful, hands off, and threaten anyone who tries to touch them kind of way (seriously) before cold/flu season hits and we have to pull them back into isolation from germs that could rack their lungs again.

All of our friends that we met in the NICU have gone home now so we are hearing from each other less and less....it seems that communication with the outside world is just hard to do with infants at home! Amber does talk to Stacy from time to time and they seem to be doing really well. Crimson will be on Oxygen for something like 6-12 months from what we understand so they will need a lot of patience and strength and can still use your prayers. Enjoy the pics and video for now and we can't wait to let you meet them...even if they're 2 by then!

Home Sweet Home

Sophie Mattie
Sophie Mattie
Mattie Sophie

Mattie Sophie

Mattie

Sophie below and Mattie above

Sophie Mattie

We've got several pictures to post since it has been a while. I could try to make excuses about not having time and all that, but I'll just leave it by telling you that Sunday morning when we woke up at 5 to feed the girls again I got out of bed, unplugged the baby monitor, and started swadling it. Before I finished I quit because I realized that the blanket was too big for the monitor. It wasn't until I was actually feeding Mattie that I realized that a monitor doesn't really need to be swaddled any way.

That pretty much sums up what's been going on since we got home! :) Amber's mom has been staying with us during the week and my mom has been here on the odd days. They have been lifesavers. I'm not sure how anyone eats or keeps their dishes clean without Nanas and Grams's!

Sophie's blood pressure has finally leveled out so we are really excited about that. We are heading back to Vandy tomorrow for their eye exams.

The girls are starting to get more cuddly with each other. Mattie especially will curl up on top of Sophie just about any time they are being held together....their have been a few head-butts and smacks to faces when arms were flailing though! :)

Every time I see Amber holding both of them I have to wonder why in the world God gave me three girls as beautiful as these. I'm pretty sure I'm the most blessed person in the world. For a while anyway, I'm just incredibly blessed and tired.

Burger King Comes through in a pinch!

If you haven't already heard, WE ARE HOME! Sophie got discharged on Wednesday. I think you'll appreciate that we have had our first big adventure and we understand completely why people with babies are always late!

We were surprised when the doctors said we were going home Wednesday. We were expecting Thursday because Sophie's blood pressure stayed up a little too high Tuesday night. Wednesday, they were comfortable enough with it to up her med. just a little and send us home. So...we got to packing. We had it all planned out to leave just after we held them up after their 2:00 feeding. (They both have reflux pretty bad and have to be held upright for 20-30 minutes after they eat.) By 2:00 we were just about ready to go, fed the babies, held them up for a while. I ran to the pharmacy in Children's and took the last load to the car while Amber got the girls ready to go. Unfortunately, that's as far as we got before our brilliant plans for a calm car ride went awry. Sophie's prescription had been faxed to the pharmacy so it would be ready when we got there. Apparently, the handwriting was illegible. They told me it would be about a half hour before it would be ready...and they needed Sophie's social. Being the forward thinker that I am, I asked them to go ahead and fill it while I ran to the car to get her social security card and ran one last errand. They agreed....although I'm not sure what they thought they agreed to, because once I got back and gave them Sophie's social the lady said, "ok, great that's all we need. Now we just have to fill it. Shouldn't be much longer."

So, instead of leaving at 2:30 we left at 4:30. The girls are supposed to eat at 5:00. Rush hour is from 4-6. The girls aren't supposed to be in the car for more than an hour at a time. Needless to say, shortly after we finally go on I24 it was time to stop and stretch at 5:30. Burger King was the first place we found.

Now try to picture a Toyota Matrix (same build as a Pontiac Vibe) that has two infant car seats in the back seat which means my knees are in the dash. Amber is smashed (literally) between the girls in the back so she can watch them. And the back end is full to the brim of diaper bags and our things from living at or near the hospital for 2 months. Somehow we changed both girls' diapers in our laps and thankfully they didn't blow the dash off like they've been known to do. I ran in to get hot water for their bottles. I'm sure I looked half out of my mind asking for a cup of hot water, but they knew what it was for and obliged...in a hurry! We finally got home around 8 and it was time to eat again. I'm sure that's the first of many adventures.

Yesterday was the first check up with the pediatrician here in town...and of course we ran late. We started getting ready as soon as the girls ate and somehow still couldn't get them in the car on time. Sophie blew her diaper open just before we left so their outfits didn't get to match like Amber had planned. We changed their O2 over to the portable canisters and fought wires and monitors all back into the car and somehow got through the appointment without the girls going crazy for not eating for an hour after they were due.

They are finally starting to sleep a little in their cribs, but I'm afraid they've gotten spoiled to being held after they eat and tend to grunt and squirm and finally cry until they are picked up again. I realized this morning that I slept better for the hour and a half with both girls on me than I do when they are in their cribs and we're worried about them breathing, and refluxing, and spitting up, and everything else! (I also realized that I couldn't remember which girl was on which side and had to really sort it out and finally decided based on weight who was whom!) It looks like we'll be sleeping in a recliner and a pull out chair in the nursery for a while! We're tired as all get out and overwhelmed...but loving every minute of it...the daytime minutes are just a little less stressful. :) I'm just glad Amber's mom is here to feed us and pick up our messes. Otherwise DCS might take the girls if they saw the state of our house!

Looking back on our stay at the NICU, it became more and more easy toward the end to complain about stuff going wrong and longing to come home, but we have so much to be grateful for.
1. Neither of the girls ever really got an infection which is pretty uncommon from what we understood at the beginning.
2. Neither of the girls had to have surgery while there. (We've still got checkups on eyes, but aren't that worried about it.)
3. While Mattie got out a few days earlier than Sophie which was difficult, I'm pretty sure a lot of twins go home at very different times. I have no idea how we would have survived with our minds in tact if that had happened.
4. If Sophie hadn't choked last Tuesday and scared us half to death while the nurse was working to get her breathing again, she would have been discharged on Thursday or Friday along with Mattie...in which case, they wouldn't have noticed her high blood pressure. While it wouldn't have caused immediate problems, it could have caused serious damage down the road if left unattended.
5. The girls won the "best dressed award" in the NICU. (I'm not sure if that's a real award but it was the head of the Neonatal department that made that comment, so I figure it bears some weight) The catch is that Amber and I have maybe bought one or two outfits for the girls. Everything else they wear are gifts from you. Between clothes, cards, gift cards, and money to help with gas and expenses, and more than anything else reminders of prayers on our behalf, we have felt more love in the past few months from God's people than we've ever experienced before.

I'll put pics and videos up soon to let you see some more of their fashion. I'm finding that being at home with them leaves even less time for blogging than being at the hospital. For now, from Burger King and a hot cup of water, to Natchez Trace, to friends and family, to people we've never met, thank you for giving us your strength and reminding us of God's strength to get through this. Now we'll need that strength to get through the rest of their lives! :)