Saturday, March 20, 2010

Human Touch

Today has been a day of rest. Amber's blood pressure has been a little high, but we are convinced it is mainly from lack of sleep. At the risk of being rude, I've asked everyone to hold calls and visits today. My phone is available of course, but we've unplugged the room phone and put Amber's away. We still need your encouragement and prayers, Amber just needs quiet for a few hours. :)

Mattie is doing well and continues to seem to improve just slightly. Sophie is having a long day. She is still not producing very much urine at all and they will do an ultrasound to look at her kidneys and then do an x-ray to check her brain some time this afternoon.

One of the things that I thought I knew before but am getting a new lesson in is the power of human touch. Most of our Doctors and nurses have been great (there are a few that seem to stress us more than calm us, but they are the exception). However, a handful of the doctors have a way about them that is incredibly calming and reassuring. All of you who have twins know how many people are in the OR when you give birth. They each came in to introduce themselves ahead of time so we would know who all was in the room. The Neonatologist, Dr. Rojas, came in while several other doctors and nurses were buzzing around and took Amber by the hand and let us know how well he would take care of our daughters once they got here. Later, Amber told me that when they were putting the spinal in, Dr. Garrison, the high-risk pregnancy specialist (she wasn't even supposed to be there but had come after work to do the procedure since we were comfortable with her) took Amber by both hands and calmed her since I couldn't be back there with her. During the procedure, the anesthesiologist, Jonathon, kept rubbing Amber's forehead, talking quietly to us to explain what was happening, and reassured us that all was going well. I also found out later that while I was with the girls in the NICU and they took Amber back to the room, that Jonathon held her hand and then told her not to tell her husband! I never thought I'd be thankful for another man holding Amber's hand and saying that. I have no doubt that God uses these people to show His love to people in the hospital here.

As thankful as I am for those gifts of calming touch, today I learned what it felt like to hold my daughters hand...sort of. I was just trying to ask the nurse if the girls would suffer from not having enough skin to skin contact and while I was trying to figure out how to word it, she said I could touch them. Of course I ran to the sink to wash and was told that light touches are too stimulating right now so I needed to be firm. I was able to reach inside Sophie's incubater and cradle her feet for a few minutes. She has monitors and IVs in both hands so I couldn't really touch her hands. Then I got to reach inside Mattie's incubater. Mattie likes to sleep with one arm as far back as she can get it and the other by her face. I put my pointer finger in the palm of her hand and barely pushed and her tiny fingers reached halfway around the tip of my finger and held tight. The nurses had to give me space since my eyes started watering so badly (I know that's hard to imagine since I usually am not a crier) I think I don't have a chance at all when I can finally hold them next to me.


  1. we continue to pray for you all, I hope everyone gets some rest including Dad it is important to take care of yourself as well as the girls. thanks so much for the updates.

  2. I wish words could make you feel better. I can understand (to the small degree) what you are going through. I remember not being able to see Annyston (one of my twins) for over 8 hrs after she was born which seemed like an eternity. Then I could not leave the NICU without crying every time I had to leave her. No words could describe how I felt. There is so much physical and mental emotions involved. I am praying that you and Amber take this time to meditate on your blessings and knowing this time is so hard for both of you, that you both will find peace and encouragement from your Heavenly Father. Our God is so great. May God give you and Amber strength of positive energy so you can pass that onto Sophie and Mattie.
    My love goes out to both of you.
    Shannon Barker

  3. Jennifer & JohnMarch 20, 2010 at 4:28 PM

    Josh you have made me & John Brown cry!! I cannot imagine what feelings you had the first time you got to touch your girls!!! You, Amber, Sophie and Mattie will be in our continuous prayers!!! We love you!!!!

  4. Josh I am prayihg that all will continue to improve that your baby girls will continue to be strengthened and grow healthy. I look forward to hearing about the day that you and Amber can take your family home. I will continue to pray for you this next year. A simple loving reminder as we are told to comfort one another with these Words: God hears the faithful fervant prayer of the righteous and answers if we believe.
    I am affirmative that your family's prayer brethtren do believe and He is faithful in all things. To our Creator, Heavenly Father, be the glory both now and forever-AMEN

    BW Stokes

  5. im thinkin your dad is going to have to give me more meds...u make me cry every time i read u guys, and i pray for u all all time...God bless u and amber and those two angels!!!! julie-

  6. I
    When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
    And the waves, will not overcome you
    Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
    I have called you by name, you are Mine

    For I am the Lord your God (girls repeat)
    I am the Lord your God
    (I am) the Holy One of Israel, your Savior (2x)

    (GUYS) I am the Lord
    (GIRLS) Do not fear

    When you pass through the fire, you'll not be hurt
    And the flames will not consume you
    Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
    I have called you by name, you are Mine

    (GUYS)You are the Lord
    (GIRLS)I'll not fear

    You are the Lord

  7. You, Amber, Sophie and Mattie have been in my thoughts every since I saw the note from Chuck the other night. You and Amber are such special people. I am not sure I have ever met two nicer people in my life. Your life shows people what true Christians are in every way. I have prayed and will keep praying for you and your family. Love you, Carol Overton

  8. You, your wife and twins have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I seen your dad at the doctors office last week. God is good, god is best.My mom always told me that god never puts no more on us than what we can handle(always remember that). Your life and family has made that clear in more ways than one. Our prayers are with you and your new family, including grandparents. God Bless and Take Care.

  9. ricky and karen thompsonMarch 21, 2010 at 7:47 AM

    sun mar 21,2010
    amber and josh,
    we are so thrilled to hear the progress that your precious girls have made. it is amazing to think that God already has a plan for these precious souls!! may God continue to shine his blessings upon your family!! Our God is Good!
    with love, hugs and prayers!
    ricky and karen thompson

  10. Josh,
    I can remember when Farrar Faith had so many wires and attachments that we could just touch her little feet and hold them. I can't begin to tell you how much you are in our hearts. I remember some days when faith for us was simply putting one foot in front of the other and going forward. I simply had nothing to say to God that He had not heard. I knew He was there in every day and moment. I just didn't always understand or want to talk. We love you and your little family, but we also recognize how it feels to not have to retell the story and face others outside of the your tight circle.