Monday, March 22, 2010

Kicked out after we change one diaper

I filmed Amber changing Mattie's diaper and she filmed me changing Sophie's last night. I tried to post it but I can't get my computer and the camera to communiate. That is the first diaper I have ever changed in my life. I have to say, it is not quite what I expected. I didn't picture quite that many tubes and chords to maneuver around!

We got to spend a lot of time with them last night. I checked on them again this morning, and they are both doing really well. No major improvements, but just a calm uneventful day...which is what they need. This morning, Sophie was sucking on a pacifier...which has to be difficult going around the tubes! Apparently she was sucking on them so much the nurse decided to try the pacifier and she went to town. Sophie also had her first bowel movement. Once again...sorry for details you might not want. It's funny what you get excited about that you never thought you would.

We are both growing tired of Amber being poked and prodded on and groups of doctors and students coming around, so we are looking forward to getting out of the hospital for that reason, but we are not ready at all to leave the girls here. There is something that just hangs in the bottom of your stomach when you can't take care of your own children. We ask that you keep praying for the girls to have calm days. For us, we really don't feel anxious as much as incompetent and helpless. Please pray that we will have patience and be able to get over some of the irrational guilt and sense of worthlessness. We know that a lot of people who go through this have felt the same things, but knowing that doesn't do much to take the feelings away. Also, we know there will be times of ups and downs as far as the girl's progress. Right now, we are thankful that it has mainly been ups. Pray that we will be able to handle the downs when they come as well.


  1. You and Amber are two of the most patient people I have ever met. God will be there with every step of the ups and downs. I look forward to the day that you get them home. These girls are going to be so lucky to have ya'll have parents. Love, Carol

  2. My heart aches for the 2 if you. I understand those feelings you described completely! I also know saying everything will be okay and I understand does not help. Just know that we are praying for you so hard and your precious girls. I remember the day or 2 after Clayton was born 2.7lbs, you and Chuck came by to visit. Thank you for that visit. If Amber ever needs to talk I am here. I feel your heartache, your joy over a poop, your helplessness while a nurse does more for them than you can. You are on a roller coaster and I would do anything to bring you all peace. You will soon feel very comfortable and at home in the NICU setting, It will get normal which is sad.Pray, lean on one another and God. If you need anything please just ask. I would love to come visit, but I know how I felt about that too. Love to you all. I will follow your progress daily. Hannah Danley

  3. good to know everyone is having a calm day that is a blessing in itself. we are continuing to pray for the girls and you and Amber dont worry about sharing all the details with us just makes us feel that much closer to you all and lets us share in your joy. God Bless

  4. I understand that it is a teaching hospital but you can ask if all the poking and prodding is necessary. If you ask they may poke less and give you a little more quiet time.
    Love and Prayers for you.

  5. Precious babies.Love to you all!

    Vance and Dianne

  6. Love you all and I'm praying for continued progress. Can't wait to see you and the girls!! Emily Doran

  7. Josh and Amber,

    Hang in there. I know it is most difficult for you at this time, but remember you are not alone. Everyone is praying for you and the girls, and God is right there with them every minute. Stay strong and look forward to those bright days ahead.

    Beverly Bell

  8. The girls look great! Hope you guys can get some rest. Hang in there, we are praying for you!

    "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

    The Bowmans

  9. Josh and Amber, You are both constantly in our thoughts and prayers. Hold on to each other, and spend as much time as you can just loving those little angels. Time will pass slowly some days and quickly others. Before you know it you will be back home again. Day by day just watch them grow. We love you,
    Geoff & Patti

  10. we havent seen any new updates lately but we wanted you and Amber to know we are still praying for Sophie and Maddie. that they are growing stronger each and everyday and that they will soon be able to go home with you, God be with you all your friends in Christ. The Kieffer's